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would like some constructed feedback please. Forgot to include lyrics in 1st post
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Songwriting Collaboration Request SongWriting Fever Forums / Songwriting Collaboration Request /

would like some constructed feedback please. Forgot to include lyrics in 1st post

 
Julian Clarke  
Forums Member
#1 | Posted: 9 Aug 2014 14:16
Genre Country.

My Old Leather Bag

You slung out my old leather bag, it was still on my back,
It seems a little unfair as it was you that cheated on me,
It seems all the high morals you once had, you now lack
I’ll head on down town in search of some new company.

chorus
This old leather bag is cracked and wrinkled
The brass buckle has lost its shine,
This old leather bag carries all that I have
But hey we’ll get along just fine.
manolomuse  
Forums Member
#2 | Posted: 11 Aug 2014 18:24
I was told that when you write you don't want listeners, or readers in this case, to feel bad for the character. I feel bad for the guy that got cheated on and is being tossed out like crap. But you have talent in expressing all that and making me feel something in such a short writing.
Julian Clarke  
Forums Member
#3 | Posted: 12 Aug 2014 11:13
Hi manolomuse,
Thank you for you constructive feedback, it has given me further ideas in where to take the character in this song.
 
Songwriting Collaboration Request SongWriting Fever Forums / Songwriting Collaboration Request / would like some constructed feedback please. Forgot to include lyrics in 1st post Top
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