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Songwriting Collaboration Request SongWriting Fever Forums / Songwriting Collaboration Request /

READ IT AND COMMENT, I DON'T CARE ABOUT NEGATIVE FEEDBACK

 
Daniel Mackowiak  
Forums Member
#1 | Posted: 27 Dec 2011 17:32
Oh Alexandra the way you make me feel
Better then anything i have ever felt before

When i hear your voice i get weak
I feel like a freak
when i see your eyes i stumble
i can barely let out a word, i mumble

be here with me
i cant live without you
cuz.....


You make me feel stupid and motionless
I feel like im flying no feet on the ground
but your the angel oh Alexandra


When i look at your face
I feel like im in space
floating with my feelings for you
with no care in the world


Oh I wish you were here
together you and me
Nothing else can be
perfect for me


You make me feel stupid and motionless
I feel like im flying no feet on the ground
but your the angel oh Alexandra

I want to make you feel like a princess
to have all the things you wanted
the knight in shining armor is me
please accept my love

You are the only one for me
I can see no other but you
Oh Alexandra the way........


You make me feel stupid and motionless
I feel like im flying no feet on the ground
but your the angel oh Alexandra.

Come join me, you belong with me
Oh Alexandra be my savior

Forget all your worries
just follow me and I will show
you the good life

No problems anymore
only a fairy tale ending
For you and me
all because you


You make me feel stupid and motionaless
I feel like im flying no feet on the ground
but your the angel oh Alex Alex Alexandra
Allen Paulson  
Forums Member
#2 | Posted: 10 Jan 2012 14:27
Good love. Might want to shorten a little make it tighter. Nice write. Write, write, rewrite, read, and rewrite some more. Good luck.
Amanda Rupp  
Forums Member
#3 | Posted: 11 Jan 2012 08:57
Impressive man. I my friend is a new raising star and write her lyrics. So I know that this song is off da freakin hook. I find that you may want to shorten it abit.
JakeStarr  
Forums Member
#4 | Posted: 11 Jan 2012 19:17
There is no real soft way to put this, but it reads as a collection of cliche lines that don't flow very well in many places. BUT, nonetheless it is real emotions. Which can make for a great poetic rewrite. I have to say this falls into the rewrite bin or in need of a good collaboration...
Hayden Stone  
Forums Member
#5 | Posted: 12 Jan 2012 16:21
I agree with the above. Also, Alexandra is... too complex of a name to put in a song. Use something more common.
Daniel Mackowiak  
Forums Member
#6 | Posted: 18 Jan 2012 19:49
Couldn't really think of another name, any suggestions?
I edited my 1st copy. I'm still new to writing music. Thanks for the feed back.
Amanda Rupp  
Forums Member
#7 | Posted: 20 Jan 2012 10:56
Allie, amanda ( used in lots of songs) , Haily, sarah, Juli are some ideas instead of alexandra
Daniel Mackowiak  
Forums Member
#8 | Posted: 20 Jan 2012 13:04
Amanda Rupp
What do you think of my new shortened song? Anything that i could do better?
Nerikka Gonzales  
Forums Member
#9 | Posted: 21 Jan 2012 00:44
You can use my name. HAHA Rikka or Nerikka =)))))))
Ameirah Female  
Forums Member
#10 | Posted: 24 Jan 2012 13:14
It has a good idea, but could be refined, seems too rhyming.

As for the name, if you want to use that particular name, you can use a nickname for Alexandra, like Alex, or Ada.

__________________
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Who said I can't bake my cake and eat it too? www.theseriouseater.com
Amanda Rupp  
Forums Member
#11 | Posted: 30 Jan 2012 09:33
the new one is much better dude trust me I am a very good song writer at least that is what My freinds and family say. Please feel free to coment on my and tell me what needs fixing on my songs.
 
Songwriting Collaboration Request SongWriting Fever Forums / Songwriting Collaboration Request / READ IT AND COMMENT, I DON'T CARE ABOUT NEGATIVE FEEDBACK Top
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