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Need People Views On These Lyrics
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Need People Views On These Lyrics

 
Alex  
Forums Member
#1 | Posted: 1 Jul 2014 10:39
These are my lyrics so far and I would be interested to see people views on it and what could be changed ect. and also what could be added ;)


Stand tall and let your feelings be told
Set your words free, let them glide across
The sea .
Send them away before tomorrow comes today
You never know how the water will flow.
Shout it out loud and let the world know.

Let them make there choice
Just make sure they can hear your voice
You never know how the water will flow
What way will it go

We don’t know the right choice to make
Just take the chance, make or break
Don’t be scared that the world won’t understand
No need to worry just take my hand.

Shout it loud and let the world know
We don’t know if it will go to plan
But you have to take the chance
What may seem is different at first glance.
Roger Penkethman Male  
Forums Member
#2 | Posted: 4 Jul 2014 06:29
Hi Alex

Really like this, a great starting point. Love the line "Send them away before tomorrow comes today"
Needs tightening up slightly so that the syllable count and rhyming flows through each line.

I would personally not have "and" in the "shout it out loud" line as it doesn't add anything and it would have more impact going straight into "let the world know"
Plus I think that line would make an impressive hook.

About all I can think of really, hope this helps.
Good luck with it.

Roger

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