I need that something extra in my song and I can't think of anything right now. Please help. My style is usually common phrases with metaphors but it doesn't have to be like that. Check out 'Like A Lid Off a Blender' for more details. I'm looking for lyrics or ideas to get me thinking again. Thank you. -Elijah James

I just got a private message of an idea for a line.
"Let's fight fire with fire
All is fair in love and war
All is fair in love and war"
Thanks for viewing this post and keep the ideas coming I appreciate it.-
Elijah James

I like this one!

The song is about a blender (even though its not really)! Use more playful "blender" words in the lyrics.

find some stuff to use in this wiki article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blender

I can already see some fun words in there. Puree. Processing. Appliance. Gasket! motor. blades.

also, I am guilty of using this website when I cant find good rhymes: www.rhymezone.com

here's some suggestions....

I'm a bad pretender (awesome)
I spill my emotions (better word? affections? i dunno)
like a lid off a blender
I try to act straight laced
By putting on a game face (feels off-topic, off-metaphor)
But as soon as I see her
I give up surrender (surrender is a great blender rhyme, but maybe this part should rhyme with "control")
And there I GO-
IM LOOSING ALL CONTROLL-

And It's all over, its all over,
Its all over,its all over
MY FACE
ITS ALL OVER MY FACE (could be a better chorus, I'd have to hear how it's sung. Also, the metaphor is 'blender goop on your face' = tears? im confused.)

(soft&slow)
I drew up a letter (I processed a letter)
I wrote down the bones (i pureed a poem, HA!)
I put pen to the paper
I bled out my soul
I spilled my emotions
(speeds up)
Like a lid off a blender
when return to sender
IS WHAT SHE WROTE-
I CANT BELIEVE THATS WHAT SHE WROTE- (dreaded clash of the metaphors)

Chorus: And It's all over, its all over,
Its all over,its all over
MY FACE
ITS ALL OVER MY FACE

***

(soft&slow)
She pushe(d) (all) my buttons
(x) to watch me blow my stack
She start(ed) something from nothing
And (now) shes tak(ing) (it) back
Then I spill my emotions
Like a lid off a blender
When I still love her
MORE THAN SHE KNOWS-
I LOVE HER MORE THAN SHE KNOWS-

Chorus : And It's all over, its all over,
Its all over,its all over
MY FACE
ITS ALL OVER MY FACE

I guess I should have explained my song better.

vrs 1 its about a guy who looses his temper and cant controll it. He tries to though, acting straight laced/ by putting on a game face. But he cant hide his anger and its seen all over his face.
Emotions flying everywhere. Like a lid left off a running blender.

vrs 2 he tries to make things right by writing a heart felt letter.
And she messes with him by writing return to sender. And he blows up again.
And it's seen all over his face.

vrs 3 he's explaining that she loves to see him get upset. She always starts it. But even though she does this, he still loves her more than she knows and it's seen all over her face.

The melody is hard to figure out because of a lot of tempo changes.

I really like where you're going.

I think your overarching theme can be simplified. When I read it, I was wondering "well ok, how is this guy like a lid off a blender?". Verse 3, pushing buttons, thats good stuff, because of the double meaning. pushing your buttons, pushing the blenders buttons. blowing the the stack, great.

Verse 2 gets lost to me with the letter. Best part of that is the rhyme "return to sender/lid off a blender". MAYBE he or she is putting love letters in to the blender? and thats the return to sender method, or the masochistic version there of.

And maybe I'm alone, but I'm misconstruing the chorus. "All over my face". It sounds like a mess has been made, not the main character being angry. thats just me.

ALSO, I know! tempo changes can be difficult. I usually give up on them and keep a steady beat through-out. Good luck man, and please put this song up when you're finished. I'd love to hear it.

Thanks Dan for all the great advise. I love getting someones opinion on my lyrics. And I know I broke some rules on song structure but it's working for me.

A note to everyone: Check out Daniel McCool's Profile and listen to 'Little Moon' I think it rocks! You can also listen to his album.

Ok, back to me. I'm still interested in how others view my lyrics. Dan pointed out a lot of things that I hadn't looked at. I'm learning a lot from everyones comments. Thanks. And keep them coming.-Elijah

Head as a blender
with bunch of fruits inside
getting crushed up
I'm going out of my mind.
Fruits cannot be identified
as i try to hide
the pain inside.

Send my crushed remainings to her.
just to get it back in the blender.
going out of my mind.
trying to find
what i can do
to get through.

She always stirs my blendings;
without the blender.
making it break into pieces.
im going out of my mind.
she doesnt care that i share
my feelings to her.
because all i am to her is a mess.
but i love her.

just made. no editing. hope it can give some help!

Hi Shaye. Love the ideas. I'm new to the site and I plan to be an active part of it. I want to get to know as many song writers and musicians as I can and maybe we can feed of each other. I'll check out your profile and keep in touch. Thanks for responding. - Elijah