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Lyric Critique! - fire wont you fall
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Lyric Critique! - fire wont you fall

 
Esther Kim  
Forums Member
#1 | Posted: 8 Jan 2013 04:05
hey guys! could you take a quick look at my lyrics and critique? thanks. its not finished but if you have any ideas i'm all ears

when will i taste you when will i be hungry for more
i ask for fire to fall down on me a worthless sinner
'cause you are everything i need now and forever

when will i look and see when will i hear and understand
i ask for fire to fall down on me your daughter
'cause all i want is you now and forever

fire wont you fall
down on me
wont you let me call
upon your worthy name
Jesus my all
i pray for more
of you and less of me
Ryan Lewis  
Forums Member
#2 | Posted: 9 Jan 2013 06:03
Good job at keeping the focus defined. I like the overall message! John 3:30.

The core of the song is very self-deprecating ("fire, fall on me"). It would work as a personal prayer, maybe a confession of sin, but would be sullen for a congregation to sing as a worship song (I lead for teens at a middle-class white American congregation, so that's what I'm biased toward... other congregations may receive it differently.)

Just some thoughts. Great intent!
Matthew Hickman Male  
Forums Member
#3 | Posted: 9 Jan 2013 15:20
Nice composition!

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