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"Hunger for love" needs feedback
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Songwriting Collaboration Request SongWriting Fever Forums / Songwriting Collaboration Request /

"Hunger for love" needs feedback

 
morti meni  
Forums Member
#1 | Posted: 5 Sep 2014 08:22
Verse1:
Both you're not brave
And I have no honesty
Like drinking a cup of tea
I want you so rapidly

Chorus:
Full of motivation like a hungry shark
Without pure love, I'm walking in the dark
I say hello, you say: bye-bye
You're not a friend, just a passerby


Verse2:
I’m hunger for love
Please come closer, may be
I’m following you baby
A kind of greed‘s born by me

Chorus:
Full of motivation like a hungry shark
Without pure love, I'm walking in the dark
I say hello, you say: bye-bye
You're not a friend, just a passerby


Bridge:
Cold disks are getting smaller & smaller
But their capacity are getting more & more
Warm hearts are growing to devour all desires
But people’s capacity are getting less & less


Chorus:
Full of motivation like a hungry shark
Without pure love, I'm walking in the dark
I say hello, you say: bye-bye
You're not a friend, just a passerby
Maricor Diaz Borgeaud  
Forums Member
#2 | Posted: 6 Sep 2014 14:59
Hi Morti
Maybe you can add another 2 verses to complete it? For me the last part is not complete. The bridge maybe you could put it after the 2nd verse
then go on with the 3rd and 4th verse then Chorus to end it up? Just a suggestion... imagine listening to it, the crowd is getting used to your music, then it's already finished, let them feel the beat before you stop the song...so it's gonna be catchy to their ears, what do you think?

Maricor
morti meni  
Forums Member
#3 | Posted: 7 Sep 2014 08:10 | Edited by: morti meni
Thank you dear Maricor for your hopeful feedback, thanks for your suggestion & imagination
what's your opinion about this new version?

Verse1:
Both you're not brave
And I have no honesty
Like drinking a cup of tea
I want you so rapidly

Chorus:
Full of motivation like a hungry shark
Without pure love, I'm walking in the dark
I say hello, you say: bye-bye
You're not a friend, just a passerby

Verse2:
I’m hunger for love
Following your heart baby
Please come closer, may be
A kind of greed‘s born by me


Bridge:
Cold disks are getting smaller & smaller
But their capacity are getting more & more
Warm hearts are growing to devour all desires
But people’s capacity are getting less & less


Verse3:
I’m a heart-reader
with no sign of jealousy
I’m not people’s enemy
As long as you are with me


Chorus:
Full of motivation like a hungry shark
Without pure love, I'm walking in the dark
I say hello, you say: bye-bye
You're not a friend, just a passerby

Verse4:
I've been a hunter
Till your love came to chase me
as far as I can go, I
can’t breathe without you, honey


Chorus:
Full of motivation like a hungry shark
Without pure love, I'm walking in the dark
I say hello, you say: bye-bye
You're not a friend, just a passerby
 
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