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Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 125

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 125

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 126

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 126

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Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 142

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 142

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Warning: strtotime() [function.strtotime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 136

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 142

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 142

Warning: strtotime() [function.strtotime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 136

Warning: strtotime() [function.strtotime]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 136

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 142

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 142

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Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 142

Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Los_Angeles' for 'PDT/-7.0/DST' instead in /home/songwr5/public_html/forum/bb_functions.php on line 142
Check my new song out, edited it, 2 draft tell me what you think?
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Re-Cycled Collaboration Requests SongWriting Fever Forums / Re-Cycled Collaboration Requests /

Check my new song out, edited it, 2 draft tell me what you think?

 
Daniel Mackowiak  
Forums Member
#1 | Posted: 18 Jan 2012 19:42
The way you make me feel
Better than anything

Hear your voice I become weak
I feel like a freak

I see your eyes I stumble
I barely let out a word, I mumble

Stay here with me
No life without you

(Repeat)
Be with me. Stay with me. Live with me.
From dusk to dawn. I can be your pawn.
Your the Queen Alexandra


Stare at your face
Can not stop
Smile and I explode inside


Please don't leave, be with me
together you and me
Nothing else can be
perfect for me

(Repeat)
Be with me. Stay with me. Live with me.
From dusk to dawn. I can be your pawn.
Your the Queen Alexandra


I promise to wait for you.
Time doesn't matter.

You are the only one for me.
No one else
I can see no other but you.


(Repeat)
Be with me. Stay with me. Live with me.
From dusk to dawn. I can be your pawn.
Your the Queen Alexandra


Come join me, you belong with me
Alexandra be my savior

No more worries
Follow me

No problems
Fairy tale ending

Listen.....

(Repeat)
Be with me. Stay with me. Live with me.
From dusk to dawn. I can be your pawn.
Your the Queen Alexandra
morti meni  
Forums Member
#2 | Posted: 9 Nov 2012 10:47
Stare at your face
Can not stop
Smile and I explode inside

I see your eyes I stumble
I barely let out a word, I mumble

(Repeat)
in my drama you're the Queen Alexandra
From dusk to dawn. I can be your pawn.
Be with me. Stay with me. Live with me.

when silence prevailed I had a freak
with hear your voice I become weak

Please don't leave, be with me
together you and me
Nothing else can be
perfect for me

(Repeat)
in my drama you're the Queen Alexandra
From dusk to dawn. I can be your pawn.
Be with me. Stay with me. Live with me.

The way you make me feel
Better than anything

Time doesn't matter for me.
You are the only one for me.
I can see no other but you.
I promise to wait for you.

(Repeat)
in my drama you're the Queen Alexandra
From dusk to dawn. I can be your pawn.
Be with me. Stay with me. Live with me.
Daniel Mackowiak  
Forums Member
#3 | Posted: 9 Nov 2012 12:46
morti meni
thanks for the edit looks a lot better
morti meni  
Forums Member
#4 | Posted: 11 Nov 2012 09:03
Dear Danie, your rhymes were excellent but your lines hadn't harmonic ( one was short, other was long )remember in lyric we need grammer as much as clear it . for example : " No life " is poem & " I 'm lifeless " is lyric

--------------------------------------------
Stay here with me
(No life) without you

{I'm lifeless} without you
--------------------------------------------
I can see (no other) but you

I can't see {another one except } you
---------------------------------------------
Come join me, you belong (with) me
Alexandra be my savior

Come join me, you belong {to} me

remember in lyric meaning is more important than rhyme . for example when you say:
Come join me, you belong {to} me
I thank you are owner of your darling but in true love you should donat your everything
(for) your darling

join me in love, you're my lost half
Alexandra with savoir faire be my savior
 
Re-Cycled Collaboration Requests SongWriting Fever Forums / Re-Cycled Collaboration Requests / Check my new song out, edited it, 2 draft tell me what you think? Top
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