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Black Bird-Song I recently wrote
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Black Bird-Song I recently wrote

 
Kimberly  
Forums Member
#1 | Posted: 28 Feb 2011 17:15
Any feedback is welcome! Again I just love writing songs that touch emotions. This is a little bit out of my comfort zone, but I think the final product is pretty good quality. But my opinion is biased, so tell me what ya think(:
I wrote this song just I don't know why. The inspiration came from a raven that I saw when I was driving and I thought of all the symbols a black raven stood for and thus this song was given life(:
I intended thias song to be all female, kind of slow but not too much feauturing piano, guitar and violin the most.

First lyrics:

As a girl, I watched the world fade
I watched the sky go grey
before my eyes

My mother told me I was too young to understand
But then she'd hold me and take my hand
And say

Chorus:
You cannot cry
Because the world is dying
Honey you're too young
I was a child once
too
Don't close your eyes
Your escape will not find you
Learn from my mistakes
Don't let the blackbird take you away
tonight

2nd Lyrics:

Be sure and wear black to the funeral
And wear your pearls that are oh so beautiful
bring a red red rose

Put the mask in place, cover yourself with lace
Make it look ok
For this parade

I dry my eyes because
my mother told me


Chorusx1

Middle:
(I'm sorry, but I am not around my original lyrics right now, and they seemed to have escaped my head. I will post them as soon as I get my PAPER BACK)

2nd Middle:

Blackbird, Blackbird,
Hear me cry
I cannot go on this way
Dying inside

Chorus x1

Blackbird, blackbird, blackbird


end.


(: I'm so sorry about my middle part, I just can't find the sheet I had them on, but I know who has them now so...
Kimberly  
Forums Member
#2 | Posted: 28 Feb 2011 21:19
Ok, sorry for the inconvenience, here is the middle part:


I dream in distraction,
My one satisfaction
I cannot cry
desynthesized

I dream in color
Just like my mother
I cannot cry desynthesized
Elijah James  
Forums Member
#3 | Posted: 1 Mar 2011 10:33
I really like this song!
I like this part below it has a nice flow to it, at least the way I'm singing it.
2nd Lyrics:

Be sure and wear black to the funeral
And wear your pearls that are oh so beautiful
bring a red red rose

Put the mask in place, cover yourself with lace
Make it look ok
For this parade

I'm thinking repeat this twice. This sounds cool too.
2nd Middle:

Blackbird, Blackbird,
Hear me cry
I cannot go on this way
Dying inside

This sounds cool too. Nice lyric (cry de synthesized).
I dream in distraction,
My one satisfaction
I cannot cry
desynthesized

I dream in color
Just like my mother
I cannot cry desynthesized

I've been on this forum a lot. People will start to get sick of me
Elijah James  
Forums Member
#4 | Posted: 1 Mar 2011 10:38
I meant to maybe repeat this twice(below) I don't know if I was clear.
2nd Middlex2)

Blackbird, Blackbird,
Hear me cry
I cannot go on this way
Dying inside

Maybe Indie Genre? It would sound great!
Elijah James  
Forums Member
#5 | Posted: 3 Mar 2011 23:09
Just to let everyone know, that I know, there is no such English word as De synthesize(d) or Un synthesize(d). Just like in one of my songs I wrote "wickered"souls. There is no such word, I know. That's what's great about writing songs you can make up stuff to express how your feeling if a word doesn't exist That's why one of my favorite writers is Doctor Suess. Hey, who can argue with a doctor Great Song!
 
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